I really meant to write this post a few days ago, as soon as I had an epiphany, but see, I didn't. Because I was tired. But there's nothing new there.
Anyhow. On Thursday of last week (so that would be... January 5th?) I had a horseback riding lesson. Normally I have them every Tuesday, but see, it was freezing cold on Tuesday, so my instructor pushed it back to later in the week... then I had one on Friday too.
The Thursday lesson went pretty decently, and then on Friday, man, I was like the queen of all Western riders. I felt so flippin' fabulous. It was honestly one of my best lessons ever. I got the lope right away and was at the top of my game. The other ladies in the arena had ridden with me just a few weeks back during another of my make-up lessons, and they are so kind and supportive and congratulatory on the progress I've made, especially on the lope. I'm sorry if I sound like a dork for repeating this over and over... but I was so proud of myself.
And as I was circling the arena on Hollywood, a tall palomino gelding, I realized that I was happy. Like, really, truly happy in that moment. Which was surprising because (this was on Thursday) I still had a bunch of homework to tackle that would presumably take all night (which it did. And then half of it ended up not being due until THIS week. -____- )
But then Friday I felt it again. And this was a welcome feeling, because earlier that very week I had been having issues with hating school (it's still not my favorite... my attitude towards that hasn't actually changed all that much....) and talking about how I couldn't wait until I was free and could get a job doing what I *really* want to do and begin to establish myself as an individual in the writing & film production world. (Granted, going to college & studying film would help with this, and that's my plan, but I can't help but look forward to when I'm done with school.)
When I was riding though, I stopped thinking about how I wished everything would just hurry up and make sense and let me do what I want. Instead I began thinking about how I have my whole life ahead of me. I'll get to do what I love, I'll work towards it, and I'll find out more about myself in the process, and probably meet some awesome new people along the way. Because really life is unpredictable.
Also, the way I see it, I really only have a few options if I want to work in film as to where to live (at least in the US)- California, New York, maybe Florida.
And of course it's another dream to own property in Australia....
This post was mainly random junk that had been clogging up my brain, but I hope it made at least some sort of sense and you could sense what I was trying to get across.
Maybe I can sum it up with two different song quotes, one from Fleetwood Mac and one from... okay, I'm not sure, but I heard it somewhere...
"Don't stop thinking about tomorrow, don't stop, it'll soon be here. It'll be better than before, yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone," meaning look to the future.
But also, "Hold onto sixteen for as long as you can," meaning live in the moment.
<3
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